the biggest question in life in "what if", "how if"? how if i never met him? what if i never took that job? what if, that night, i decided to walk the other way around? then, i would've never met you. would i have met you elsewhere? would we have still went out on that fateful 31st march? would we still be together now?
these questions can suffocate you of its endless possibilities. it can also make you regret, of not taking that bus, or not taking that chance, or for being too impatient and not wait for him, or ever having decided to be with someone else. likewise, it can make you eternally grateful, for saying 'hi' back, for not running away, and for saying 'yes' when you should have. yes, the "what if"s can suffocate you.
it can be really hard not to dwell on this all day long. looking back and seeing the thread where you think you've made a mistake or mistakes, and where you're sure you've made the right choice but beginning to wonder again now. would i have been as happy with him now if i am with someone else? would i miss him if i never knew him? yes, the "what if"s can make you doubt to.
but what makes me strong is thinking about how much i have now, not what i don't have. i won't ponder on the past anymore or what could have been, instead i will look only at you and i know in my heart that i would never trade you for anything else in the world. although there may be times where the "what if"s prodded my mind, in the end, i would always come back to you and remember how much love we share and how our love will give us the rest of it.
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